Tom Parker’s widow says people cross the street to “avoid” her because they “don’t know what to say” following his death.
The Wanted singer died of a brain tumour in March aged 33, and now Kelsey Parker, 32, says even her friends and some of her family struggle to know what to say to her at times, but she admits it is tough to “understand” her life of the last three years.
She said: “They feel awkward around me; they cross to the street to avoid me. They don’t know what to say.
“I want to say, ‘There is more to me than Tom being dead.’
“Friends find it hard to relate to, because until you’ve done everything I’ve done over the past three years, you can’t really understand my life. Because it’s been so tough.
“They’ll hate me for saying it, but the majority of the men in my family would rather have their heads buried in a hole in the garden than talk about it. But death is the one thing guaranteed to happen to us. It’s almost as if we’re all scared to die.”
Kelsey – who has kids Aurelia, three, and Bodhi, two, with her late husband – finds life particularly hard in the evenings when the children go to bed, and she even misses having arguments with Tom.
She said: “Even when he was ill I’d say, ‘As soon as you’re better you’re taking the bins out again … I miss calling Tom and saying, ‘What shall we have for dinner tonight?’ Evenings are tough – the kids go to bed and then it’s just me. We were a team, best friends. I even miss the arguments.”
Kelsey admitted she searched for different medical treatment from around the world in a bid to try to find a “miracle” cure for Tom’s brain tumour.
She added to The Times newspaper: “It was massive tough love. Tom was probably thinking, ‘Oh my God, just leave me alone.’ I was always like, ‘This is what we’re doing next.’ We were speaking to doctors in America, Mexico, Germany. I just had tunnel vision. Even in the final days I was still trying to make a miracle happen. I needed to elevate him: he was so scared of death. And it makes it easier to bear his death, knowing I did everything I could. I left no stone unturned.”
Kelsey recently admitted she is doing everything she can to keep Tom’s memory alive for her children.
She said: “Bodhi is just two. With Aurelia, it’s been six months, it’s very matter of fact her dad has died and now she’ll just pick things up (at home) and be like, ‘Oh that was my Dad’s.’ So she does understand.
“If she sees him… obviously there’s so many photos around the house, she’ll be like, ‘Oh that’s mummy and daddy when they got married.’ We really talk about him in the house… it’s so important to keep him alive for them.”